Post-Valentine Ramblings

Like it or not, Valentine's Day brings thoughts of love to everyone's mind. Whether you're single and lonely or in a relationship for good or bad, it just can't be avoided.

So, what is love? 

My sons were telling me people stories this morning... things they observed on their Valentine's Day. One story was about a girl dogging her boyfriend for what he didn't do for her. My oldest said, "Why be in a relationship with somebody you don't really like?" I have to say that he has never said one bad word about his girlfriend. When I mentioned this to him, his smile was all confidence and a little cocky. He said, "Of course not. She's perfect. There's nothing bad to say. Besides, a person should never say anything bad about their significant other."

That statement startled me. How often do I complain about my hubby? In front of my sons? Have I exhibited true love before them? Or have I grown selfish in my marriage, making my first love me?

Growing up, divorce was rare. Nowadays, having the same spouse for life is rare. My boys are always shocking their friends with the fact that their parents are still together. This year will mark the 20th anniversary of our wedding day. My hubby and I have weathered many storms and I'm sure there will be many more in the years to come. That's life. But I took a moment this Valentine's Day to consider our love. It's fragility. It's strength. How is it possible for something so fragile to be so strong? I'm not really sure, but do I thank God that he gave me a husband who loves me and is stubborn enough to stick to his vows yet humble enough to do what it takes to make our marriage work. And I thank God for making me equally stubborn and giving me a heart overflowing with love - especially since I don't do the humility thing too well!

I remember something a former pastor of mine once said, "Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is." Have you become indifferent toward your Valentine? I assure you, real love takes two. It takes both of you working and sacrificing and denying self. My friend Jan Drexler put it this way: "The most romantic love is sacrificial love - the man who sacrifices his wants for her needs and vice versa." 

What do you think? In this fast food generation of everything including relationships, what is your definition or ideal of romantic love? This romance writer wants to know! Please?