Chapter One, Decision Made

Beth hugged her sides as she paced the dreary bedroom. Her entire body trembled as every hurt…past and present…rolled over her, wave upon wave. Her legs wobbled like gelatin. She wondered what kept them from giving out.

How many nights had she spent trying to figure out what to do? Oh, how she wanted to run away…skip town…go where nobody knew her…and start fresh. But, should she? Her stomach knotted with apprehension.

The thought of worrying her family stopped her at every turn. It didn't matter that she left home…refused to speak to her dad. They knew she was safe and that was enough to sedate her conscience. Besides, at twenty-three she's plenty old enough to be on her own.

But, could she leave town? She had no cell phone, little money, and no destination. If only there were someone I could go to…someone who understands me.

Even her fiancée didn't seem to understand her. In fact, he's part of the problem…part of why she wanted to leave.

Kyle. He's the one for me. Right? My one true love? So, why does he have to be so difficult? Why does he…

Growing dizzy with panic, Beth started packing.

Dear God, I need to get away where I can hear your voice and feel your presence again. Please help me. I don't want to worry anyone, but I can't stay here any longer. Maybe I'm running away from my problems, but I have to do something. Everyone I talk to has answers that don't tell me anything. I need to hear You, and I can't with all these other voices crowding in.

Beth packed everything she thought necessary for living. The rest of her belongings, she stored in the boxes she brought when she moved into the Becker's basement apartment. Then, she sat on the edge of her bed and wrote them a note. She didn't tell them she was leaving town. Just that she was moving.

…Thanks for allowing me to stay in your home the past few months. I'll never forget your kindness and Christian hospitality. Don't worry about me. I'm in God's hands. He'll take care of me. Please remember that I'll keep you in my heart always…

Hands shaking, Beth managed to stuff the letter into its envelope, address it and leave it on her nightstand. Making sure every last detail was taken care of, she crawled into bed. Tomorrow she would cash her paycheck at work, empty her bank account, and then leave town.

She wasn't sure where she would go. There will be time enough to figure that out tomorrow. Burrowing deeper into the safety of her covers, she fell into an exhausted sleep.


~Linnette R Mullin